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fS: Monster by bonhwaJP fS: Monster by bonhwaJP
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" After one particularly bad day, I made the executive decision to hang myself in my room after lights out. That night, when the halls had fallen quiet, I tried to source a protrusion for my makeshift noose (expertly crafted from the shirt I was wearing) to hang from. In hindsight it was apparent that, being in a psychiatric hospital, the entire room was anti-ligature, with not so much as a door handle to aid me in my plan for premature release. And to top it off, I was foiled mid-plot by a patrol nurse who immediately raised the alarm.

Trying to re-assure someone of your mental stability is difficult whilst in full psychosis. I can only assume I was not convincing, as I soon found myself pinned very carefully on the mattress in such a way that I couldn’t carry on trying to kick and claw my way out of the room. I could still spit though.

The comedown from such an episode is worse than any comedown I had from H. Now in a room with no more than a mattress on the floor, I cried and screamed and punched at the walls for days. I threw up, I passed out. If I wasn't already crazy, this is where it would have surely set in. They sedated me enough one afternoon to cut my hair, patch up the scratches to my head, even sit by my side with an ice pack to soothe my self-inflicted black eye. Eventually, the hours of screaming turned to sleeping and I plateaued to my usual miserable state of existence. Then, the cycle would start all over again."
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:iconclannad16:
Clannad16 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
looove it! omg the hair is well drawn 
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:iconbonhwajp:
bonhwaJP Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you very much :)
Reply
:iconmangsney:
Mangsney Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It hurts even more when dA puts this:
SEONG by lynseylew
as the first picture in the "More from" section on the side... Really Sad 

You got there, though, Bon...
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:iconbonhwajp:
bonhwaJP Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
haha, dA is smart! dA is all-seeing. Thanks for your support hun :heart:
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:iconikur:
ikur Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
The emotions in this piece :'c 
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:iconbonhwajp:
bonhwaJP Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I hope you like! :)
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:iconikur:
ikur Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I love it :heart:
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:iconschizophrenicme:
schizophrenicme Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2016
I understand this cause I have psychosis nos and been sedated before and in restaints. Just to keep Mr from hurting myself and other. Psychotic disorder nos is a pain
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:iconbonhwajp:
bonhwaJP Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm sorry to hear that! I hope you're doing okay these days.
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:iconschizophrenicme:
schizophrenicme Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016
Thanks
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:icontonttun:
Tonttun Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2016  Student
This is amazing, i live the writing part
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:icontonttun:
Tonttun Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2016  Student
Love
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:iconbonhwajp:
bonhwaJP Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you for taking the time to read! :)
Reply
:iconcarola-chan:
carola-chan Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2016  Professional Writer
Can you hear the sound of my heart breaking? Oh Bonnie~ ;w;
The text completely fulfills how haunting and devastating this is, our first taste of writing, isn't it? I'm hurting for him, but it's also making me pine for more. Exquisite work as always :heart:
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:iconbonhwajp:
bonhwaJP Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you hunny, thanks for your support (as always)! :heart:
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:icondagger-13:
Dagger-13 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The expression of pain he's got...very haunting.
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:iconbonhwajp:
bonhwaJP Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you, I hope you like :heart:
Reply
:iconxdsaraxd:
XDsaraXD Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2016
This is so beautiful, it's filled with so much raw emotion and the expression is so strong and striking. I love it, even though it's so sad :( <3
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:iconbonhwajp:
bonhwaJP Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you very much, I hope you like :)
Reply
:iconmr-rukan-san:
mr-rukan-san Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
(;へ:)i dont know what to say..poor bonie (;へ:)(;へ:)(;へ:)im sad now..(;へ:)(;へ:)
but i gotta say i love this pic.. his face is so expressionist and the details are fantastic. i see more the longer i look, the scar on his forehead really capture my eye, so did his adam's apple,and his lips  
(;へ:)
ahh but i just want him to be happy 
(;へ:)
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:iconbonhwajp:
bonhwaJP Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I think he's happy in the end! XD thank you for your support :heart:
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:iconmr-rukan-san:
mr-rukan-san Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i sure hope so >w< haha
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Details

Submitted on
October 2, 2016
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391 KB
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Canon
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Canon EOS 500D
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Oct 1, 2016, 11:32:46 PM
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